It was like love at first sight with you. I was hooked from the first drink. But you are very sneaky, patient and insidious. You were willing to wait until I couldn’t give you up before you almost destroyed me. You are a predator and you prey on the weak and vulnerable. Though my first drinking experience made me physically ill, I knew without a doubt that you and I would meet again. We began to see each other on weekends and you courted me. I had never felt like I fit in with other people, I was shy and felt like I wasn’t quite the same as them. When I drank alcohol I was different. I had confidence and I could talk to anybody. I didn’t feel inferior or awkward. Through my teens and twenties I drank socially, or so I thought. Some of my friends would only have one or two drinks while I would keep going until it was all gone or I passed out. Secretly I wished I had their willpower. I craved you and your magic release and I would wait for the evening with anticipation. As I got older, had a family and more responsibility I used you more often. You told me that I was special, that I deserved a drink at the end of the day. Maybe more?! Pretty soon I started thinking about you by lunch and the end of the work day couldn’t come fast enough. By now I needed you everyday. Still you told me it was okay, I worked hard and had a lot of stress and I needed the sense of ease and comfort that only you could bring. Eventually I had to start my day with you and even bring you to work with me. We became inseparable. Something inside was screaming at me to stop but you always took care of that. I lied for you, stole for you and kept you hidden from those who would try to tear us apart. Then you turned on me. You were more important to me than my friends, my job and even my family. Little by slowly I started to lose those things. That’s okay I thought, all I need is my best friend. By now I couldn’t give you up, even when I really wanted to. I was obsessed with you and you had cast a spell on me. If I tried to leave you, even for a day, I got sick. My body trembled and shook uncontrollably, my stomach revolted and my legs gave out. I was scared but I instinctively knew that you could fix me. I could come back to you and feel well. By the time I realized what a monster you are, I was in too deep. I had no job, no friends, no marriage. My health was suffering and my children couldn’t bear to watch you destroy me anymore. I was trapped and using you against my will. You didn’t even help anymore but I had to have you or I thought I would die. Too late I realized that we had been lovers and we would never be friends. You are a liar, a thief and a cheat. I see through you now. I have found something else to believe in. Something that loves me and wants the best for me. You don’t win.
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